I mean…titles are lame

I am writing these all at once, because I have absolutely nothing to do. Nothing. I work at a hospital and so everything is all Covid, all the time, and other meaningless stuff, i.e. what I do, just slows down. My coworker and I, let’s give her a name, shall we? Penny. Because that’s her name. Penny and I guilted the crap out of our bosses about working at home more because they seemed to think we needed to be here all the time, catching Covid, so that we can…I don’t know, be here if someone needs office supplies? We already worked at home one day a week, but when we’re here together we sit literally 3 feet apart and the reason I know this is I threw down a yardstick with more force than needed and pointed out that we were breaking our own rules on social distancing and the fuckers STILL SAID NO. Then they had a meeting with our VP and came crawling back saying we could work at home every other day. So now I’m here alone every other day, and while I like the quiet, I don’t have shit to do!

I complain, but I like working here. I’ve worked here three years, I think. Don’t judge me, you don’t know what year it is either. I believe I started here in January of 2019. I got laid off from Sprint in March of 2018 (please know that I am making these dates up to the best of my ability, but time began in 2020 as everyone knows and the beforetimes are a blur) and eagerly took one of the worst jobs I have ever had. My husband oh yeah I call him Paco, Jesus Christ, hold on I’ll get back on this, I swear. PACO is probably tired of hearing about this, but this job. OMG. It was a bait and switch, first of all. I was hired to be an executive assistant to the CEO, and I did none of that. Bait: a lovely lady, smart, professional, kind. Switch: drop a paper clip in her office and she turned into … I’m trying to get a metaphor here… eh fuck it I’m out of practice, a huge bitch. She raised her voice at me about dropping the ball on something I had no idea I was supposed to do and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. I had worked there for six months. I’m not going to say in what field this job was, but it was one that I’d never worked in, okay it was Law, sort of. She wasn’t a lawyer, but her job was all about lawyers, and I can’t really explain it because I have a non-disclosure agreement, but anyway.

Here was the thing. Her sister was the HR manager, and her husband was the COO. So…who am I going to go to? “Hey, I have a complaint, your sister has a volcanic temper and I can’t hack that, now go talk about it over Thanksgiving dinner.” Her sister was also fake, okay anyway, I quit. I QUIT. Like literally walked in to talk to the dipshit HR Manager/sister and was talking to her about the problems and then just said, “You know what? I quit.”

I have never done such a thing in my life. I went back to my desk and wrote a quick resignation letter to the CEO, who replied that it was probably best (That has also never happened to me in my life) but I better remember I had to give three weeks notice and I’m thinking “Or what?? You’ll fire me? You’ll blackball me in this field which is the tiniest niche field in the entire law landscape? You’ll throw paper clips at me?”

Then I went home and told Paco what I’d done and he got so mad at me. Again, never happened to me in my whole life. That was a really bad day.

I don’t even want to talk about that conversation.

Anyway, I gave the three weeks notice and then I offered to stay until they got a replacement, since someone seemed to think we’d go broke if I went three weeks without a job. And then this job hired me, despite the fact that my previous job tenure was only nine months long.

I’ve had times where some disappointing things happened here beyond my control, but that interim job destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence at jobs. I’ll never forgive them. Even though I don’t even remember their names now. It’s a lame grudge, but it’s my grudge.

Now I’ll write my next one. This is great! It’s almost lunch time!


  1. I feel like our careers have tracked each other and we’re similar ages, etc., and yes, being a successful assistant at this level is all about the fit. God knows we know what we are doing, but if the executive you’re attached to has a significantly different style than you’re used to, or hell, even than what you want to deal with every day, it’s hard not to just move the eff on and find someone who fits better.

    Plus it’s whole different world than the one I worked my way up in. The things I taught myself to do in order to successfully support someone are almost all obsolete, so I end up having to teach myself more things to do to stay useful and helpful.

    But anyway, you didn’t write a blog so some internet stranger* could write another one in response, so I’ll just say again I’m glad you’re back and I hope you find something fulfilling in this exercise. You’re really good at it and you make me feel like someone out there gets it.

    *Been reading since I think Holly was 4, so there’s that.

  2. Happy to see you writing here again! I’ve had a couple bait and switch interviews (advertise the job you are actually trying to fill, please) but thankfully I was able to see where that BS was going and didn’t take it any further. I retired a little early last year because I was good at my job and as things changed and people moved on I kept getting more and more of the crap nobody else wanted. Until when I tried to not end up doing *everything* for *everybody* people got all bent out of shape because I didn’t want to do my job. My *job* was assistant to the chair and if one more person came to me about some software license or the effing photocopier it wasn’t going to end well. So anyway I can relate a little. Welcome back!

  3. I forgot to leave a cranky work comment!

    There were around 10 women in my Accounting masters program at Baylor who all graduated and became CPAs together, and I am THE ONLY ONE WHO IS STILL WORKING outside the home. I’m also the only one who is not married, so take that FWIW I guess.

    If I think about the fact that I’m only (IF I’M LUCKY) halfway though my career, I really do not know how I can keep going at this. UGH!

  4. I understand the loss of self esteem. I HAAATTTED my previous job, but I had made a commitment so I was going to stay there until I retired. Or died. Then the loathsome boss retired and his successor decided that I was unnecessary. I was summarily shown the door. It DESTROYED me even though I hated that job. That was eight years ago, I have a job now that I love, and yet I’m still not over it.

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