iMBROKEDecember 7th, 2012
Dear Poppy, the BB cream I used and loved except it burns my eyes is L’Oreal Paris Magic Skin Beautifier BB Cream. I conveniently linked to Wal-Mart, where you should get it because it’s cheaper. I can’t take credit – I heard about it from Jonniker on the twitterz.
Annette, thanks for your story. What a ray of sunshine that was.
Okay, I’m still not posting any pictures of my face. And I don’t know what that thing is where you look in the mirror and think “I am so fresh-faced and youthful looking for my age!” And then someone takes your picture unexpectedly, perhaps holding a shot of Jager and you are like “THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN oh that’s me.”
So here’s a picture of Holly, dirty socks and all, who saved up her pennies and bought herself an iPad last night. Greeley’s in the picture too, but he blends in.
I’ve had a lot of comments on Facebook about “HOW THE HELL??” and “I CAN’T SAVE SHIT!” Hey, let’s talk about money! I love talking about money because my beliefs about allowance and savings and paying for things always make some people judge me and get indignant.
As you all know, Paco and I got serious about money about two years ago. We save like motherfuckers, we pay cash for everything, and the only debt we carry is a home mortgage. We pay cash for Elliot’s college and have the cash saved up for Holly’s. No child of mine will carry a student loan. We have been very open about money with Holly. It’s sometimes hard for her because many of her friends come from “wealthy” families and spend a lot of money on things, but we are up front about what things cost and why we don’t believe in credit.
For a while now, Holly has had $40 a month deposited into her savings account, just for being alive. She does not have to do chores to get the money. She has to contribute to our household when we ask her to and not because we pay her. No one pays Paco to make my dinner every night. Oh dear. I just gave him ideas. All of y’all who only give allowance if the kids do chores, though, you go right ahead. I don’t care what you do. Everyone has different family philosophies. It’s just that mine’s right and yours is wrong, but whatever.
Periodically Holly wants something that I don’t want to pay for, like a game for the Wii or a non-essential clothing item like $200 Uggs or whatever and I say, “I’m not buying you that, but I’m happy to transfer some of your own money over and buy it.” She almost always looks horrified and says, “NO!! That’s my money!” and she gets over whatever crap it is she wants. I think it’s just in her nature to hoard.
So for years that $40 per month has just sat there growing until she had this huge pile of money. She had a laptop on her Christmas list and I just flat out said “You’re not getting that,” because goddamn. We have like ten computers in the house including two laptops and I’m sorry if there isn’t one specifically designated as hers. Then she said, “That’s okay, I really want an iPad,” and I said, “Well you’re sure as HELL not getting that, ” because GOOD GODDAMN. Then Paco said, “You could buy it with your own money,” and she thought it over and said, “Yes, I want to do that.” In keeping with the money lessons, Paco eschewed the Apple Store and made her buy it at Target since we get 5% off with our Red Card (you should get a Red Card-it is FREE MONEY) plus we had a $5 off coupon plus we had an additional 5% off card we got from getting five prescriptions filled. She basically got her case or portfolio or whatever it is for free with all the discounts.
I might add that Paco is also a money-hoarder. He and I give ourselves allowance every month and that bastard was saving his up for an iPhone 5 (which he isn’t allowed to purchase yet because he’s a Sprint employee) but then he got his current phone fixed this weekend and decided to wait for an iPhone 5s, so he took his iPhone savings and ordered himself an iPad too!
I’ll just be over here with thirty-nine cents and a scratched Kindle Fire.