Dream Killer
December 10th, 2012Man, this is one of those days. People be pissing me off; I be pissing people off. It’s a clusterfuck all around.
I’ve been thinking about this whole deal with the nurse who committed suicide because of the radio prank. Now, I hate those radio pranks. Actually, I hate all practical jokes-jokes where you scare or fool people are just rude and mean. I change the station if any DJ I’m listening to pulls one (and they all do).
But come on now. The lady who killed herself obviously had something else going on and the generalized “media” had more to do with humiliating her than the DJs did. Jesus, I think the story led Good Morning America for three days in a row. The whole thing has gotten out of hand. FCC inquiry? Really? Next we’re going to get a story from Fox News blaming Obama for not issuing a statement.
I hate the world, mostly.
I’m wearing some new clothes today and my boss told me I look “youthful.” Of course I responded, “Well, what did I look like before??” and he hurriedly answered, “Very nice!”
So I figure I am either wearing clothes inappropriate for my age or I am underdressed for the office. Or maybe I usually dress like an old lady? I am wearing skinny black pants tucked into boots. I usually wear dresses and tights. Like, every day.
Cry me a river, but I am sick of buying dressy slacks. They always have to be hemmed like 10 inches which is a bunch of shit and I seem incapable of buying the right size and then my friend Jessica yells at me to “Wear pants that fit! God!”
Joy asked me whether Holly ever believed in Santa. I don’t think so. I mean, really guys. Do I seem like the type to start that/keep that going? Also, I think she was creeped out by the whole idea once she was old enough to get it so we told her he didn’t exist. She has always been a really skeptical kid who never believes in anything without solid proof, so it wasn’t going to work out anyway. Elliot always wanted to believe in fantastic things. He was/is Jewish so the Santa thing never got off the ground, but he was able to suspend disbelief in general. He famously asked us when he was little if Sponge Bob was “real” and we were all like, “No, he’s a cartoon,” and looked at each other like OH MY GOD and then he said, “Well, I know that, but is he…REAL real?” I never knew what the hell that meant so I just said, “No,” dream killer that I am.
Holly is always full of questions and logic. You can’t even tell her a joke without her analyzing it to death and explaining why it isn’t funny because ”How could a horse walk into a bar, Mom? I mean, the doors wouldn’t be wide enough, even if he could get them open without thumbs.” Sigh.
Yes, we told her to keep the Santa lie under her hat, in case her friends believed it. No word on whether she obeyed us or was a dream killer herself.
Pants off the rack. Sorry you have to hem but I’m a 5′ 10″ woman with a 38″ inseam and it’s just not possible to add inches. I make all my pants and paid $100 to take a class to learn to fit the pattern correctly (and if there were a drinking game involving the word crotch I would have been unconscious by the first break). And how to add real pockets to any pattern! Which I wouldn’t do if I didn’t live in a small town. If I lived in the big city I would haul ass and everything else to a tailor and have excellent pants custom made.
I guess what I’m saying in a round about way is who the hell fits the weird pants at the store and why can’t women buy pants by waist and length and with well made pockets?
I guess horses stopped walking into bars when swinging doors went out of style.
Yay, question answered. I didn’t think you, or she, would be but I’m amazed at the people who go to great lengths for the whole Santa thing.
I never believed, but I also don’t remember being a dream killer. Although, given some of the asses I dealt with my whole school career, I wish I would have.
I think your boss said that because boots tucked into pants is a hot look on (most) women. Just ask Paco. But he probably said “youthful” to censor himself and make it sound work-appropriate. I don’t know if that makes you feel better, or just creeped out.
Really enjoying your holi-days daily updates!
At some point I just told my kids about Santa. I didn’t want them being the loser walking around junior high (actually late elementary school) believing in Santa. My youngest had the most awesome reaction ever. I told her that I was Santa (meaning that I bought and brought all of the loot). She thought that I meant that I was THE Santa. Which we still laugh about to this day. Miss Gullible.
I have never tried on a pair of pants that truly fit me. Never. Thin, no ass or waist.
I think youthful was the first word he could think of that wasn’t “hot” and wouldn’t get him sued. I’ve decided to just go ahead and take compliments at face value because nobody hears them enough and we don’t say nice things to other people near enough. And Melanie, if you read this, try Victoria’s Secret pants (god, I know). I’m built like you and just got a couple pairs of their cords and they fit. Kind of pricey, but they have several inseam lengths and the measurements in their size charts are fairly accurate. Pants for storks is what I call them.
@Nanc in Ashland…Crotch drinking game? I’m in! So funny!
An acquaintance (my eye doctor) told me today that she and her husband were so sad that her 10-year-old daughter quit believing in Santa this year. They used to go to great lengths: leaving footprints one year, and one year they left a wrapped gift on the roof of their house (where it could be seen from the street) that ‘must have been dropped by Santa.’ I’m glad that not everyone goes to these lengths.
I was glad when the days of Santa went out the window because I was sick to death of him giving all the good presents. I mean, really. We’d spend all kinds of brain cells trying to figure out what we would give, what Santa would leave, and then sit back and be jealous that the kids liked what “Santa” gave them better than what we did. We still did the gifts in stockings on Christmas morn (yes, we are a Christmas Eve celebratin’ family) until the kids were out of the house. What they hey, but they at least were actually stocking stuffers and that was ok.
I think pants have actually gotten easier to find these past few years. I have thin legs and hips in relationship to my waist and am long-legged. Pants for me used to be impossible to find as I abhor too wide of pants legs in the upper thigh. At any rate, now that 1-2% spandex is in the fabric, I can squeeze the thicker waist in and still have a butt and thigh and leg that looks good. (I just cover up the waist for Gawd’s sake, as the days of tucking anything in left with Santa.)
THERE’S NO SANTA CLAUS???
We kept up the Santa charade with our younger daughter – eventually it reached the point where I was thinking I should tell her the truth, but I was kind of afraid to, since we had pretty much lied about it forever. And we were selfish enough to enjoy the whole deal so much, knowing since she was the last kid, we stalled.
She is 27 years old now, and every Christmas, she reminds us that she was totally humiliated in fifth grade when her friends figured out she still believed. She doesn’t laugh when she tells us, either.
we did santa for years and connor will be 13 tomorrow and i think he has known for a few years there was no santa (except me and hubby) but i never ‘told’ him. i mean he isn’t that gullible.. i neve got what the big deal was about believeing in santa and the people who get all..’oh i lied to my child..boo hoo’…. i want to smack them. you lie to your kids all the time.. suck it up and get over yourself for gods sake.
My uncle decided to tell my cousins and I there was no Santa sometime when we were in grade school. I don’t remember being particularly disturbed by the news. My mother was really pissed. She didn’t think it was “his place” to tell us. Kind of stupid really because his daughters were my first cousins and we were very tight and told each other every damn thing. I think she just wanted him to keep the illusion going longer for all of us. We kids really didn’t care. I don’t have kids to pretend for and the youngest nephew is 15 now so the jig is up here.
I never believed in Santa, probably because of the majorly Christian theme to our family’s Christmases, but the tooth fairy? That was some sweet magic!
Lower case kris, I’m with you. Where’s the harm? Let them believe as long as they want to. Most kids have it figured out sooner than we think and are just trying it keep themselves convinced. Merry Christmas, I say!!
~K!
Jane, you’re awesome for telling your kids the truth. Children need to be able to trust their parents.
I hate practical jokes, too. At best, they’re mean. At worst, they’re tragic like the nurse suicide. I’ve noticed that people who love playing practical jokes are always the ones who can’t take them.
Totally agree on the nurse debacle. They just picked the wrong people to play a prank on and the news media totally blew it out of proportion. Must have been a slow news day, because if there was some type of a storm or Obama screwed something up that day, we might have heard about the prank once instead of several times/day for several days!
My husband wanted to disabuse my daughter of the whole Santa thing for years, but I thought she was smart enough to figure it out on her own. Finally, she told me “Other kids say Santa is just your parents,” and I said, “Well, I suppose once somebody stops believing in Santa, he stops visiting them and then their parents have to step up and take over.” She thought that one over for a minute and then dropped the subject, as she knows Santa has deeper pockets than we do. I figure there’s nothing wrong with leaving a little wiggle room for magic, as long as you don’t really really believe.
Most of her friends are fundamentalists (we’re in the Bible Belt), and they believe even more bizarre stuff. At least our “magical thinking” is fun!
So, when I was in 5th grade, my brother who was in 2nd totally ruined the Easter Bunny/Santa thing for me. I can still hear his smart ass voice “Think about it, Sara. All the candy in your Easter basket is the same candy Mom and Dad buy from school…” I guess he showed me. I was a naive kid, I guess.
My kids all believe which is surprising considering how analytical my oldest is.
THANK YOU: for saying about the prank EXACTLY what I was thinking. I’m with you: the poor lady obviously had other issues going on. It’s tragic but it’s not a direct cause-effect between the DJ prank and her later actions.
Santa: I’m so not ready for my 8-year old daughter (2nd grade) to give up the santa thing. Thankfully she still believes, and she WANTS to believe. I won’t tell you how old I was when I found out – it was embarrassing. But I was/am an only child so I didn’t have any older siblings to ruin it for me.
What little I followed of the UK nurse seemed peculiar; indeed, there was something off to force her hand in such an extreme and final way.
As the eldest, I nurtured the Santa secret in an uncharacteristically kind and thoughtful manner.
However, I’ve since made up for it killing dreams willy nilly- those belonging to the siblings, their offspring and any other fool to get close to this curmudgeon.
I love Santa and I love my kids believing in him for as long as they want to, although my kid is also a skeptic and I can see her working hard already (at five) to maintain belief.
But I am about to kill the friend of mine who is not only smug about not lying to her own kids about Santa, but totally blase about wandering through a playgroup party talking about how Santa is just “pretend.” That’s just plain mean.
My husband told our older son when he was in 4th grade because he didn’t want kids making fun of him at school (which no one was–it was a preemptive strike.) Kid was pissed! And I was mad at him for ruining it. Junior’s been in a bad mood ever since. And he’s 20 now!
When the question of Santa’s “realness” came up with our daughters, my husband and I simply said “It is fun to believe in Santa” and left it at that. Their stockings are still filled every Christmas morning but now that they are 12 and 15 they don’t also get big presents from Santa.
I have started buying pants in the petite department and I am not short, but I hate to hem things. Works well for most (although you may have to buy a size bigger).
My friend still tells the story about when her daughter was in 6th grade and the teacher gave a writing prompt asking the kids to write about how they felt when they found out Santa wasn’t real (no Jewish kids in that class I guess!). Of course the teacher did not know that the answer for my friends daughter and her good friend, that moment was when the teacher asked the question. The girls were very upset to find out in that way and somewhat mortified to learn all the other kids already knew the secret.
Don’t go away!
When my son asked, in probably 2nd grade, I told him the (kid-friendly) history of Saint Nicholas, that he was a real person who lived a long time ago and, according to stories, liked to give secret presents to people. Even though he’s not alive today, we keep his memory alive by giving presents to people without letting them know it was us.
It worked well as an explanation – and the “not letting others know” part helped remind him to keep this knowledge to himself – but it backfired a bit because he decided he wanted to give a “secret present” to everyone in his class. He was writing lists of all the latest (most expensive) toys, and didn’t seem to make the connection that the money was coming out of mommy’s pocket, not Santa’s. I had to struggle to get him to agree to cookies instead.
My husband and I broke up with our personal trainer (long story) so our New Year’s resolution turned into the strange and new NOT going to the gym. We’re taking charge of our own workouts now and were just looking at fitbits. Are you and Tim still using yours? Are they worth it?
so.. are you hating us now or what??
Adding my pixels. Miss you.
Love my personal trainer.